After graduating from the fine arts program in 1986, I decided to take a three month trip to Europe to visit all the museums that held all the paintings I had to study to attain my degree. It was a trip I would relish (more on that later) but this only explains how I arrived at the Costa del Sol in Spain, not how I became a member of distinction in the International Bum-Biters Association – no small feat I assure you!
This dubious honour was bestowed upon me by a publican who owned a bar in Torremolinos. From England, Bill and his wife June operated a fun establishment that we called home for three weeks. I had hooked up with two American girls at the train station in Portugal and as we were going to the same place decided that we would rent a villa with a pool and a gardener while we were there. As luck would have it there was another English publican who offered us his condo for free as he was going back home to England and all we’d have to pay for was the hydro. We gave up the villa and pool for a highrise condo on the beach… an easy trade really!
Since the pub was on the way to the beach, we would stop in for a jug of sangria which we took with us whilst we were suntanning and we would return the empty jug at the end of the day. The hosts were a lot of fun so we often ate there as well and continued our drinking. One night, Bill bit me in the bum and told me I was now indoctrinated into the exclusive realm of the International Bum Biter’s Association; however, I would not be granted full membership until I had bitten the bum of a complete stranger of the opposite sex who came into the bar. Being somewhat shy in nature, I didn’t know whether I would be able to do this but coming out of the bathroom one time, there was a gentleman standing at the bar and I just went for it. Even Bill and June were surprised by this but I hurriedly explained everything to the astonished patron and he good naturedly took it in his stride. Thank Goodness!
As a member in good standing of the Spanish chapter of the IBBA, I often considered establishing a Canadian division but then I got married and well, had to grow up really!
Just kidding, I’m not sure I will ever do that!