Home Sweet Home

I will never receive the Good Housekeeping Award of the year or the week for that matter.  I am not one of those people whose home you visit and everything is in its place and so clean you could eat off the floors.  Our house is cleaned when we know we are going to have company and we run around like mad the day before (even though we’ve had all week) cleaning toilets, vacuuming, dusting, polishing, washing, etc. but only those rooms where I know company will be – our bedroom is still untidy and could probably use a good air freshener to boot.

I don’t mean the house is dirty or crawling with germs and maggots overflowing the trash can – though my husband did ask me last week if there were maggots in the trash but it was leftover Chinese rice that I threw in and some of it stuck to the sides of the can, so I had to take it outside and hose it clean which it more than likely needed anyway.  Cleaned by necessity.

You can rest assured if I were ever to win the lottery, the first thing I would do is hire a cleaning lady or man – I’m not prejudiced – and a chef.  Namely because I don’t like to cook that much either – not after 40 years of doing it.  Of course my mom who had to make three meals a day and lunches for six kids and her husband had every right in my opinion to complain  about it…but never did!

If it wasn’t for my husband, I suspect the filter would never be changed in the furnace, the ducts would not be cleaned out and the light fixtures dispossessed of flies.  I just find that I am readily distracted from any chore I might be attempting by the phone ringing, checking e-mail, walking the cat, games on the i-pad – anything really that seems more interesting than the job at hand.

No, Martha Stewart need have no fear of being dethroned by yours truly!  She has drive and ambition and a whole crew to help her out, I am basically lazy by nature and a slob at heart.  Oh well!  Time to see if the Blue Jays are playing!

 

“Song for Zulu”

Song for Zulu

This song by Phosphorescent is featured on their Dead Oceans Album and is on the soundtrack of The Spectacular Now coming of age movie from 2013.  It got a 92% rating on Rotten Tomatoes website and is considered to be a thoughtful and poignant representation of teen angst.  I, however, have not seen it.  I am just enthralled with the song, it calms my being and allows me to delve deep into my own emotions and heartbreaks and come out on the other side.  I play it whenever I am feeling down because it gives me hope.  It is painful and beautiful all in one!

It is also on the soundtrack for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 from 2014.  Again, another movie I have not seen!

I believe music can help change your life.  Both my husband and I have a list of songs we want played at our funerals that meant something to us as a couple and independently.  This may seem a little macabre to some but we feel it will help our friends remember the good times shared and not the sadness in our passing.

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The message here – enjoy life, it’s the only one you’ll have!

Live the Life you’re given

A few months ago, I had to empty, donate, distribute and clean my niece’s apartment.  She had been found dead by the police whom I had called because her brother and I were worried about her and hadn’t heard from her.  They came to my door just before midnight and you just know when you open the door what they are going to tell you.  The funeral arrangements, service and few weeks after are pretty much a blur though you manage because you have to.  She died from complications of diabetes and other medical issues.  She had spent a year trying to find out what was wrong with her and why she couldn’t eat, etc.  She spent most of that time in and out of the hospital becoming more depressed with each visit.

I have been blessed with relatively good health most of my life and even though I have abused my body with alcohol, etc. it ticks on like the ever-ready bunny and I take it all for granted.  The hard part about life is knowing that sooner or later it will end – guaranteed!  You can talk all you want about cryogenics and other means of extending life but in reality you only get the one chance to live.  Depending upon what you believe in, you might come back – either as a human, an animal or plant.  You might go to heaven or hell.  You might just return to dust, again; it doesn’t matter – you’ll be dead!

Don’t be that person who says I wish I’d done more, been there for people, helped that homeless person on the street, loved more!  Make that happen!

While carrying out stuff from the apartment to the garbage bin outside, I dropped something on my foot and still have a blue bruise on my big toenail.  Every morning when I have a shower I look at it and remember my niece and the good person she tried to be despite all the tragedy in her own life.  She looked after people who were dying.  Talked to them, helped them with bathing and taking medication and bonding with them even though she knew their time was short.  She ensured that there would be someone with them in their final moments and let’s face it – that’s what most people are afraid of – dying alone.  It takes a special kind of someone to do that week in and week out and I’m grateful that they had her there.  I only wish there had been someone there for her when she took her last breath.

It is comforting to know that she is with her grandmothers and grandfathers and all those close to her who went on before her.  While I grieve her loss because she was still young and I miss her even though we weren’t particularly close and I wish we had been better friends, I feel guilty that I didn’t reach out to her more when she needed someone.  Why is it so hard to let people you love know that you do love them!

swimming