Adventure – REFLECTIONS OF A SWAMPER

Hopeville Kite Festival

September 1, 2026September 1, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Events and Festivals, Family and Friends

Many years ago, I took my nephews to a kite festival and they were just as enchanted as I to see all the various kites flying above them. Today there are much more elaborate kites available, and on show in abundance this past weekend. Kite flying apparently originated in ancient China over 2,000 years ago. (some say South Pacific)

A quaint little Ontario town by the name of Hopeville located just west of Dundalk held the largest kite festival in the province Saturday, Aug 29 through Sunday, Aug 30th., which turned out to be “a magical weekend of flight, music, food and more.”

Although it is a free event, organizers welcome donations to help put on the festival year after year. The festival address is 125849 Southgate Rd. 12 in Dundalk, Ontario and if you missed it this year, you will likely be able to catch it next August as it is an annual event. The Hopeville Kite Festival is proudly funded by the Government of Ontario. The Family Fun Zone is made possible by a grant from Community Foundation Grey Bruce.

Attendees could bring their own kites or purchase one at the venue — the festival welcomes flyers of every skill level. There was a designated fly zone for the public and many people brought their own lawn chairs just to sit and marvel at all the kites soaring above and around them. Where else would you be able to see an ice cream cone flying about. Not to mention an astronaut, a sea horse, a tall ship, octopi, fish, and dragons. You could get dizzy just from having to swivel your head around to catch them all.

Tip: The ultimate trick to flying a kite is maintaining tension on the string. Always stand with your back to the wind, let the kite catch the breeze, and pull gently on the line when it dips or feed it line when it climbs. Never let the line go completely slack.

Some interesting facts regarding kites:

The smallest kite in the world which actually flies is 5mm high.

The largest number of kites flown on a single line is 11,284. This record is held by a Japanese kite maker.

The longest kite in the world is 7,700 metres in length.

The largest kite in the world is the Megabite 55 x 22 metres (630sq metres).

The fastest recorded speed of a kite is over 120 mph. (193 km/h).

The record for the highest single kite flown is 3801 metres (12,471ft).

Some Japanese kites weigh over 2 tons. And some of the longest Chinese Dragon kites are over 600 metres long.

You do not need wind to fly a kite.

Kite flying is one of the fastest growing sports in the world.

More adults in the world fly kites than children.

People were flying kites 1,000 years before paper was invented.

The first powered aircraft were large box kites with motors fitted to them.

Kites have been used for fishing, bird scaring, delivering mail and papers, forecasting the weather and frightening evil spirits away.

Benjamin Franklin used a kite to prove that lightning was electricity.

What began as a community kite festival has grown into an event that attracts professional kite flyers from across North America and visitors from Ontario and beyond. Now in its fourth year, the Hopeville Kite Festival continues to combine the excitement of a major kite display with the welcoming atmosphere of a rural Ontario community.

If you have never had the opportunity to experience a kite flying festival, let your inner child emerge and attend one.

Upcoming 2026 Kite Festivals in Ontario

New Park Unveiling (Newmarket): September 19–20, 2026

Kites in the Field (Lucknow): September 26–27, 2026

Eau To Joy on the Beach (Erieau): October 17–18, 2026

Update to June 11th post on carousels – Lakeside Park

August 14, 2026August 14, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Art, Family and Friends, Travel

In my previous post of June 11th (On a Carousel trying to catch up with you) I mentioned that I would be going to see this antique carousel in St. Catharines and how excited I would be to see it; and it did not disappoint! Every hand carved animal and chariot has been lovingly restored to its former glory by a group called Friends of the Carousel who help to keep it maintained with some help from City Council and public donations.

Frati band organ that has two figures that twirl while playing musical scrolls

The Lakeside Carousel was carved between 1898 and 1905 in Brooklyn, New York by Charles I.D. Looff’s factory workers. The carousel was relocated in 1921 from its earlier home at an amusement park in Scarborough to St. Catharines. It was purchased for the amusement park flourishing in Port Dalhousie, which had 58 attractions. In those days, more than a quarter million people annually crossed the lake in steamships to visit Port Dalhousie on weekends. The carousel has 68 animals, including horses, lions, camels, goats and giraffes, plus four chariots. The accompanying music is played by an antique Frati band organ which uses a system of paper music rolls to serenade riders. Each animal was hand carved, and the horses still have real horsehair tails.

green halter and harness on ginger horse — Lion

The Lakeside Park Carousel is one of approximately 350 antique hand-carved carousels still operating in North America – only nine of which are in Canada. The original Looff lion on the Lakeside Park Carousel is one of five existing Looff lions in North America and it is the only one that has its head turned to watch onlookers as it circles by.

The second lion on the Carousel was carved in 2004 by the Friends of the Carousel to replace the original lion that was stolen in the 1970s. One of the stipulations on selling the carousel to the City of St. Catharines was that the fee for riding the carousel would remain at 5 cents. This is the kind of attraction that you should take your kids and grandkids to see, not just for the history but for the genuine craftsmanship that went into its making and the fun of riding around in a circle with no place you have to be.

Unique Public Toilets Around the World

August 9, 2026August 9, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Art, Travel

If you have done any extensive travelling you will have been introduced to various types of toilets (washrooms, etc.) around the world. Some not so nice, like those at some gas stations in North America to opulent bathrooms in higher end hotels. Access to these may be free, through a key on a peg or a swipe card, to a metered door lock but everyone needs a place to relieve themselves from time to time and the older you get the more frequently you need to use these facilities. I believe there is even an app now that tells you where a convenient location exists near you at anytime.

You cannot begin to understand my excitement and pleasure at coming across public toilets in New Zealand and Australia. They have taken mural art to the nth degree far from the boring half moon door in the outhouse behind a cottage in northern Ontario.

We have also come across some very inventive banos in Mexico on our travels. Sometimes just the markers that let you know whether they are male or female or unisex are pretty cool.

Institute of Art in San Miguel de Allende bano

Some unique restrooms that we have heard of but not yet experienced are:

1. A toilet in Arosa, Switzerland that is made of glass and sits over an old elevator shaft, letting you look straight down while you do your business through clear glass.

2. A club in Frankfurt, Germany where men step inside a giant, glittering set of red lips to use the urinal.

3. Kawakawa, New Zealand features public toilets designed by artist Friedensreich Hundertwasser using colorful tiles, stained glass, and a living tree growing right through the roof.

4. Tianmen Mountain in China features a clear glass restroom built onto the side of a sheer rock cliff, offering massive canyon views.

5. The Ice Igloo Restroom in Norway is built seasonally near famous hiking trails; these minimalist stalls freeze your surroundings into a stunning winter wonderland.

Blue Star Memorial Hwy rest stop on the way to Nashville,Tennessee

What are some of the best/worst public toilets you’ve experienced?

Erté: A Journey Through Art and Elegance

August 4, 2026August 3, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Art, Events and Festivals

Romain de Tirtoff was born on November 23, 1892 in Saint Petersburg, Russia to an aristocratic family. He was a pioneering Russian-born French artist and designer known as the “Father of Art Deco”. His designs included dresses and accessories for women; costumes and opulent sets for opera, ballet, and dramatic productions; and posters and prints. Moved to Paris, France, in 1912 against his family’s wishes to pursue art. Adopted the pseudonym Erté, which is the French pronunciation of his initials R.T. (Romain de Tirtoff).

He joins the ranks of the elite who are known worldwide by their first names, such as Cher, Madonna, Twiggy, Elvis, Bono, Adele, etc. Erté designed over 240 covers and thousands of illustrations with Harper’s Bazaar over 22 years starting in 1915. (A collection of Harper’s Bazaar illustrations was published in Designs by Erté [1976] with text by Stella Blum.) He also crafted extravagant costumes and stage sets for the Folies Bergère in Paris, Ziegfeld Follies in New York, and Hollywood films. This is the stage of his career that entrances me the most. His costumes were exceptionally brilliant and unique. He worked in many fields, including jewelry, sculpture, and interior decor. He worked for nearly eight decades and died in Paris, France in 1990 at 97 years of age of kidney failure.

He wrote his autobiography, Things I Remember in 1975. Erté’s legacy serves as a reminder of the intersection between art and society, illustrating how a singular artistic voice can resonate across generations and shape cultural narratives. The name remains a symbol of elegance and aesthetic excellence, firmly rooted in the annals of art history.

The only thing I have seen that comes close to the theatricality of Erte is in some of the wearable float costumes of Toronto’s Caribana festival. If you have the opportunity, you should try to get to spend the week-end at the Parade, a tad pricey for a hotel room during that time but the amount of colour, tinsel, sparkles, feathers, skin, and dancing is incredible. A cornucopia of visual delight or a photographer’s idea of heaven!

The Hoover Dam: Engineering Marvel of the Great Depression

July 29, 2026July 27, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Art, Travel

Imagine we are stepping into the dirty 1930s—a time when the American nation was brought to its knees by the Great Depression, yet somehow we reached for the sky to accomplish the impossible. Imagine standing at the edge of the Black Canyon in 1931 which straddles the borders of Nevada and Arizona. Below you, the wild Colorado River rages—an untamed beast fed by the distant, melting snows of the Rocky Mountains. For decades, it had been a force of devastation, unleashing relentless floods that swallowed nearby farms, wiped out settlements, and threatened the fragile dream of expanding the American West.

The nation needed a solution, and thousands of desperate workers needed a lifeline. Enter the United States Department of the Interior’s Bureau of Reclamation, supported by a coalition of two hundred visionary engineers tasked with designing a structure so immense it defied belief.

Over five grueling years, thousands of men descended upon the desert heat to carve through solid rock, plunging more than 500 feet into the canyon walls. They carved out miles of subterranean tunnels and laid massive 30-foot-wide steel pipes known as penstocks. Together, they poured a mind-boggling 3.125 million cubic yards of concrete—creating a monolithic arch-gravity wall that weighs more than 6.6 million tons and rises to an astonishing 726.4 feet.

Against all odds, the workers finished the dam, its power plant, and its striking Art Deco architectural details in 1936—a full two years ahead of schedule.

Not an AI generated photo but an actual aerial view of Hoover Dam

Initially called the Boulder Dam before being renamed the “Hoover Dam”, this structure didn’t just tame the river—it redefined the Southwest. It birthed Lake Mead, the largest man-made reservoir in the United States, plunging to depths of 532 feet at full capacity and holding enough water to submerge the entire state of Pennsylvania a foot deep. It provided life-giving irrigation to arid desert fields, provided steady jobs when the country needed them most, and fired up massive hydroelectric generators that sent clean, roaring electricity straight to the burgeoning neon lights of Las Vegas and the sprawling neighborhoods of Los Angeles. It was, quite rightfully, crowned by the American Society of Civil Engineers as one of America’s Seven Modern Civil Engineering Wonders.

Today, if you visit, you can walk for free along its 1,244-foot crest, looking down at a structure engineered so masterfully that its concrete physical body is estimated to endure for thousands—if not tens of thousands—of years. However… here is the tragic twist in our historical narrative.

While the concrete titan itself may stand virtually forever, its functional heart is racing against time. Lake Mead is shrinking. When regional leaders signed the 1922 Colorado River Compact, they made a critical error: they promised more water to surrounding states than the river actually possessed. Today, that mathematical miscalculation has caught up with us. Driven by long-term drought, hotter temperatures evaporating the reservoir’s surface, dwindling snowpack in the Rockies, and the relentless demand of millions of people and farms, more water is being pulled out than the river can replenish.

The Hoover Dam stands as a monumental testament to what human ingenuity can conquer when pushed to the brink. But as we look at its receding waterlines today, it presents us with a profound question for the 21st century: We proved we could tame the wild river—but can we learn to live within its limits?

Death is Inevitable so enjoy life while you’ve got it!

July 14, 2026July 13, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Music, Travel

1. The Logic of Inevitability

For many, fearing death is seen as an unnecessary tax on the mind because it is completely unavoidable. Since it is a universal certainty that applies to everyone, worrying about it is viewed as a waste of precious energy.

Accepting the Unavoidable: Death is simply a guarantee. Fearing it is described as being as counterproductive as fearing basic, everyday bodily functions.
A Release from Anxiety: Acknowledging that you cannot stop death allows people to drop the burden of trying to avoid it, freeing them from “unjust anxiety.”
Probability and Modern Life: In the modern world, the vast majority of people live to old age. Because it is a distant certainty for most, there is no logistical reason to let it overshadow the present.

2. The Preservation of “The Present”

Obsessing over death actively ruins the only thing we actually possess: life. Those who do not fear death choose to focus entirely on the quality of their Earthly existence.

Living Mindfully: As Bob Marley suggests, if you know what life is worth, you look for it on Earth. The human brain is naturally wired to focus on waking up, making plans, and looking forward to tomorrow.
Lessons from Tragedy: Witnessing the loss of a loved one—even a child—often highlights just how fleeting and fragile life is. Instead of causing fear, this realization inspires people to face life with excitement, wonder, and gratitude.
Avoiding a Half-Life: To fear death is to stop living entirely. It is better to live a short life full of vitality than a long life paralyzed by fear. As one person noted: “If the grim reaper wants me, he knows where I am.”

3. The Nature of Consciousness (The “Switch” Theory)

Many individuals derive peace from the biological and philosophical reality of what death actually is: the total cessation of consciousness.

The Absence of Experience: You cannot actively “experience” being dead. Just as you do not consciously experience the hours spent in a dreamless sleep every night, you won’t be there to miss life or feel nothingness.
The Sweet Release: In death, all suffering, pain, and fighting cease. Even though joy is gone too, you lack the consciousness to miss it. It is a state of total, permanent peace.

4. The Metaphor of “Leaving the Party”

Perhaps the most poignant reason people do not fear death is the natural weariness that comes with a long, full life. Death is not seen as a failure, but as the natural culmination of a book’s chapters.

Knowing When It’s Time to Go: Life is compared to a great party. Eventually, you have had your fill, the crowd thins, and the music changes to tunes you no longer recognize. Staying longer means risking becoming a burden or watching your quality of life deteriorate.
Comfort in the Next Generation: There is peace in seeing the “newer guests” keeping the party going, allowing the older generation to step away gracefully.
The Desire for Rest: For those who live to a ripe old age, the thought of living forever becomes exhausting. Death is reframed not as a terrifying void, but as a beautiful, well-earned, “good, long sleep.”

In this song is he talking about the ability to fly or that dying is the biggest flight your soul will take?

As soon as you are born, you are on the road to death. I’d rather live a short life full of life than a long life of nothing. Some people have no fear of death because they get the point. They enjoy the trip without worrying about the destination.

Cartagena, Colombia

June 18, 2026June 16, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Travel

A long time ago, 1987 to be exact I had the good fortune to tag along with a travel agent who was checking out Cartagena for her agency in order to make suggestions to their customers on where to stay, what to see and do and rate some restaurants. Not a hard assignment really. We stayed at the Hotel Capilla del Mar which had opened only two years previous. I recently looked it up and the rates are still very reasonable (at least off season) and the reviews complimentary, especially regarding the breakfast buffet. Other things going for it are the proximity to the beach, the rooftop pool and the friendly staff; and though we took a cab from the airport at the time, they now offer a shuttle bus.

At that time the luxury hotel of choice which we walked to was located at the very end of the peninsula – the Hotel Caribe. As Cartagena’s historic premier property, it was the city’s original grand resort (built in 1945). Known for its beautiful neocolonial architecture, expansive tropical gardens, and prestige, it remained a legendary social hub and flagship for high-end travelers throughout the 1980s. We only had cocktails there as we were not members of the posh elite.

We did however, have a great time in Cartagena. Seeing what looked like 15 year old kids toting machine guns was a little off putting but I’m pretty sure things have changed since then. During the late 1980s and 1990s—the height of Colombia’s drug war and internal conflicts—visible military personnel carrying automatic weapons were a common security measure in major cities and tourist zones to deter cartels and insurgent groups. While you don’t have to worry about a war-zone atmosphere, modern safety concerns have shifted to opportunistic street crime. The biggest nuisances on the beaches today are incredibly aggressive street vendors, pickpockets, and overcharging scams.

We body surfed in the ocean and sun bathed by the pool and bought fresh fruit when we needed a snack and walked for long distances on the beach, stopping every so often at a little pizzeria or patio for a refreshment and later on at night to listen to local musicians and RELAX.

Perched on the highest point in Cartagena, Convento de la Popa (The Convent of the Stern) is an absolute must-visit for the best panoramic views in the city. Built by Augustinian monks in the early 17th century, the convent gets its unique name because the hill it sits on resembles the stern (la popa) of a ship. Historically, it served a dual purpose: a sanctuary for faith and a strategic lookout point to spot approaching pirate ships.

Today, it offers a peaceful, historic escape from the bustling streets below. The convent features a stunning, Spanish-style interior cloister filled with bright, cascading flowers and beautiful colonial arches.

Travel Tip: Do not attempt to walk up the hill, as the path isn’t safe for pedestrians. Instead, take a licensed taxi or an organized tour right to the entrance at the top. It’s best visited in the morning or late afternoon to catch the golden light and avoid the midday heat!

Castillo San Felipe de Barajas is a formidable fortress dominating the Cartagena skyline, and is a designated UNESCO World Heritage site.

Located on the Hill of San Lázaro, it was strategically positioned to protect the city from landward attacks and to guard the vital entrance to the bay. Built in 1657 and expanded significantly in 1762, the fortress was virtually impregnable. The fort is designed so that if attackers managed to breach one section, the defenders could retreat to a higher point and fire down onto the captured area. Its geometric angles left absolutely no blind spots for approaching enemies.

One of the most fascinating features is the vast underground network of tunnels. At the very top of the fortress, a massive Colombian flag flies proudly, providing a great backdrop for photos. Just like La Popa, it offers incredible views of the city, but from a closer vantage point. You get an excellent look at the Old Town walls and the surrounding water.

Travel Tip: There is very little shade on the fortress, and the stone traps the heat, making it feel like an oven by midday. Visit early in the morning right when it opens, bring plenty of water, and wear a hat!

Just outside the Walled City, Getsemaní is the cultural heartbeat of Cartagena. Historically a working-class neighborhood settled by artisans and freed slaves, it has transformed into a vibrant hub of street art, music, and local life. Gathering on the walls to watch the sun sink into the Caribbean Sea is a daily ritual.

What to do: Walk down the colorful, umbrella-lined Calle de las Sombrillas and check out the political and cultural murals.
The Night Vibe: In the evening, head to Plaza de la Trinidad. Locals and tourists gather here to eat street food, drink cold Aguila beers, watch street performers, and listen to live music.

You cannot leave without eating local Caribbean food. La Cevicheria (made globally famous by Anthony Bourdain) is still a legendary spot for fresh, lime-cured seafood, though you should expect a wait!

Doris was widely considered the most traditional, upscale, and celebrated restaurant in Cartagena during the 1970s and 1980s (famous for its exquisite seafood and massive lobster festivals), it unfortunately has closed it’s doors but we had a splendid seafood dinner there. Unlike Doris, La Langosta Latina is still around, successfully serving seafood in Cartagena for nearly 40 years. Opened back in 1985, it is one of the city’s true legacy seafood establishments. It retains a very traditional, white-tablecloth, upscale Caribbean-classic atmosphere. Because it sits slightly outside the frantic main tourist grid of the Walled City, it usually offers a more relaxed, white-glove dining experience that recalls Cartagena’s golden era of dining.

Colombia produces anywhere from 70% to 90% of the world’s finest emeralds, Because Cartagena is a massive cruise ship and international tourist hub, it is flooded with high-priced tourist traps, aggressive commission-seeking tour guides, and outright street scams. Always buy at a reputable shop and ask for a certified authenticity Guarantee. Never buy on the Street as they are almost universally fake. Don’t take recommendations from tour guides, taxi drivers, and in some cases hotel concierge as their will be 10 -30 % kickback commissions added directly to the price tag. Walk in on your own. You can get a lovely stone at a decent price if you know what you are doing.

Now the main reason I wanted to tag along besides the fact that my room was paid for was that I would be able to go scuba diving in just a bathing suit in temperate 82 – 84 degree water and see colorful coral life and dense schools of colorful reef fish: blue tangs, parrotfish, triggerfish, angelfish, and macro life like seahorses and arrow crabs; instead of a rubber suit dive in the usual weeds and old truck tires of cold, murky Canadian lakes. You don’t always have to go all the way to the islands. There are some fascinating spots closer to the city lines, including a collection of about seven intentionally sunken barges, ships, and even an airplane that create excellent wreck dives

That to me was the highlight of the trip, when you are swimming below the water and marvelling at all the activity, color and beauty of the ocean, it is like time stands still and another different world opens up. It was simply breathtaking and something I shall never forget. Image below is AI generated as I did not possess an underwater camera at the time

On Friendship

June 15, 2026June 13, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Family and Friends

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

There are four types of friendship –

Acquaintances – those you have at work or school but don’t make plans with outside of that sphere, and those that you meet on your travels.

Casual friends are those in your group that you see from time to time and enjoy their company but don’t go out of your way to pursue. Those you share hobbies with or light-hearted social engagements.

Close Friends are those you get together with and have deep, philosophical discussions, catch movies together, go out to dine from time to time and have the same values. You know you can trust them and they provide a space where you can vent and grow without being judged.

Lifelong Friends are those that know where the bodies are buried. They have and will always have your back. When they call and ask you to come and pick them up no matter where or when, you go no questions asked because they would do the same for you.

True friends stab you in the front – Oscar Wilde

I think you need to have the ability to laugh at yourself and take the piss out of a friend that is getting too high on themselves and you should do all right in life! Gauche, but true, live, love and laugh.

On a Carousel trying to catch up with you

June 11, 2026August 13, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Art

I am an avid fan of the merry-go-round or carousel if you prefer. Riding a carousel is something almost everyone can do. But it’s more than just going around in circles.

The joy of the carousel is the simple pleasure of being free to go somewhere but nowhere at all. Merry-go-rounds are the luxury of time. For those few minutes, nothing is asked of us but to enjoy the ride.

I appreciate the painstaking effort of the carvers who made such exquisite pieces of art for the wonderment of children and adults a like. Though most carousels I remember had horses and chariots, organ music and lights there have been many made with circus animals, aquatic creatures, and bugs.

New York City is home to 14 carousels, each with its own distinct personality and history. Le Carrousel is an adorable 14-horse carousel in Bryant Park at 40th Street between 5th and 6th Ave. It has a French style that goes with the rest of Bryant Park.

Le Carrousel is open daily from 11am – 7pm almost all year round. It costs $3.00 per ride. This is the only one I had the opportunity to photograph during the time we were visiting.

Closer to home and an upcoming trip, I hope to get some good photos of the Lakeside Park Carousel in Port Dalhousie, Ontario which is about an hour and a half from our home in Kitchener, Ontario. Built in the early 20th century, it is one of the few remaining wood hand-carved carousels in Canada still operating at its original location, celebrated for its craftsmanship and nostalgic charm. It features 68 hand-carved wooden animals and four chariots and costs 5 cents a ride. Can you believe that?

Situated within Lakeside Park, a scenic area popular for picnics and beaches, the carousel evokes early 20th-century leisure culture. It is also referenced in the song “Lakeside Park” by the Canadian rock band Rush, which memorializes summertime memories at the site—further cementing its place in Canadian popular culture.

I am eagerly awaiting the day we go and will post photos when it happens. In the meantime, what kind of outings do you enjoy?

The Mirador in San Miguel de Allende

May 3, 2026May 3, 2026 by BJM Publishing, posted in Adventure, Travel

There are certain experiences in life that sound charming in theory and feel like a personal vendetta in practice. The Mirador in San Miguel de Allende falls neatly into that category.

Now, if you’ve never heard of it, the Mirador is essentially a scenic lookout perched above the town, offering postcard-perfect views of terracotta rooftops, church spires, and that golden, late-afternoon glow that makes everyone briefly consider quitting their job and moving to Mexico. It’s lovely. Truly.

Getting there, however, is another matter entirely.

Let me translate it into Canadian: imagine climbing the stairs of the CN Tower for fun. Then add a dash of the Grouse Grind for personality. Sprinkle in 30-degree heat and the faint suspicion that you’ve made a series of poor life choices. That’s the Mirador walk.

Naturally, this is how our day unfolded.

The plan, you see, was simple. Innocent, even. A quick stop at El Manantial, a charming little bar we had spotted in a YouTube video. It promised excellent margaritas, Day of the Dead murals, and swinging saloon doors, which frankly sounds like the beginning of a very good decision. After that, a civilized dinner on a rooftop near the Jardín. Easy.

We had already been walking for about half an hour when we wandered through a park hosting an art show, paintings, sculptures, the kind of cultural detour that makes you feel pleasantly accomplished. Then we exited the park, consulted our GPS with blind faith, and spotted a staircase. A staircase that, in hindsight, was less “shortcut” and more “ominous prologue.” Up we went.

At the top, we paused, lungs filing a formal complaint, and were rewarded with a sculpture of a giant hand, which I had seen online and never located. “Well,” I thought, “this is going splendidly.” A bonus discovery. A triumph. That, as it turns out, was the last coherent positive thought I had for quite some time.

Because just around the corner… more stairs. And then more.

And then the slow, creeping realization. That dawning horror. The mental replay of earlier advice: “Don’t walk to the Mirador. Take a cab. You’ll thank us.” We had, in fact, taken a cab up there previously for precisely this reason. And now, like two stubborn protagonists in a cautionary tale, we were doing the one thing we had explicitly been trying to avoid. “For fuk’s sake,” I muttered between gasps, “how stupid are we?”

The stairs came in waves. You’d crest one set, heart pounding like a percussion section, only to round a corner and be greeted by another flight, waiting patiently like it had all day to ruin you.

We stopped at least four times. Possibly more. Time loses meaning when you’re negotiating with your own cardiovascular system. Thankfully, we had a bottle of water, which we drained with the reverence of people who now understood the value of hydration on a spiritual level. The sun, meanwhile, had decided to participate enthusiastically, turning the whole ordeal into a slow roast.

There were two other women making the climb. One looked about half my age and stopped just as often, which provided a small, petty comfort. Misery loves company, especially when it’s wheezing beside you. At one point, while we were paused and pretending this was all part of a fitness plan, my husband casually remarked, “If I have a heart attack, just roll me down the hill. It’ll be easier for the medics.”

By then, I had entered a new phase of the journey: open hostility. I was swearing like a long-haul trucker and no longer cared if we ever reached the restaurant, civilization, or the afterlife. And then, finally, the summit.

We reached the top around four o’clock, having left the house at 2:30. A brisk outing, if you define “brisk” as “an endurance event.”

We found El Manantial, collapsed into two chairs, and ordered margaritas with the urgency of people who had just survived something mildly heroic. Ken disappeared to the washroom. I sat there, oddly fascinated by the fact that I didn’t need to go. Not even slightly. It turns out that when you sweat out your entire body weight, certain systems take a break.

After a restorative pause and the slow return of dignity, we made our way back down toward the Jardín. I stationed myself in the square, listening to mariachi bands and contemplating my life choices, while Ken secured a reservation at Trazo 1810. And here’s the important part: it has an elevator. A glorious, civilization-affirming elevator.

Dinner was lovely. Wine was involved. The moon rose obligingly, casting that soft silver glow over the rooftops as if to say, See? Worth it. And in fairness, it did save the day. As for the Mirador? The view is undeniably beautiful. The journey up? Character-building, they say.

Personally, I feel I’ve built quite enough character already. Another glass of wine, por favor!

Category: Adventure